To Myself and the Ones I Love…

This year I’m not sure if I found myself more than any other year. I’ve always had a strong sense of self, but in this particular year, having experienced the best of times and the worst of times, I now know:

  • I can survive without cable, the Kardashian’s, Nene Leakes, and any other show on Bravo or E!, but that I’m just as demented for watching 118 hours of Lost on Netflix.
  • That being a politician or a referee on Facebook is definitely funnier to watch than to partake in. Why watch the news when Brian from my sophomore history class will detail me on Pro Life and how the Dolphins did in the first quarter.
  • That falling in love is like ordering Chinese Food; easy to do and harder to get out of, whether it’s adding to your thighs or adding on to your emotional baggage, its unavoidable.  But that when it happens to take in all the good bits as much as you can, and if it spoils a bit earlier than expected, with a head held high and a new sweater dress, Ill be fine.
  • That NYC is the greatest city on earth, but that’s probably the Stockholm syndrome talking. This city is crazy.
  • That laughter is most likely the only way I’ll survive this post apocalyptic world and that hopefully zombies get my sense of humor.
  • That Miami is probably the best part of who I am (so far) but that it doesn’t define who I am.
  • Who I am today is not the same as who I’ll be 26 years from now. Opening myself to change makes Tomorrow’s Jessica a little more less likely to make the decisions of same old Yesterday’s Jessica. I look forward to that.
  • That my future is only brought closer by what I do today, so to attain the dream I must realize the current reality and get ir ‘done with my resources at hand.
  • That I got really deep without the help of “gluffing” or “saving the planet” and that it may be time to wean myself from that. Or Ill just Google how often Judd Apatow does it and give myself an excuse to go back.
  • How critical it is to scope out 99 cent pizza and spinach and egg recipes when you get another job that pays you once a month (aka how important it is to save money and not have to do that).
  • The importance of getting to know your neighbors when you are locked out, need a package signed for, or find out they are having another party you aren’t invited too.
  • That coexisting is as hard as it seems, but not trying to make it work makes things even harder and that communication is always the source of the issue.
  • That understanding someone, in relation to the last note, is really a learning experience for yourself and your relationship with the person. That once you know how to understand one person, with everything you have, that everything else in your world gets a little easier. Learning yourself through others shouldn’t be taken for granted.
  • But also in relation to that, you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink it. Thanks to Chachi on that.
  • That although I have enjoyed websites like My Friends Are Married, and enjoy an occasional scoff at all of the engagements and babies filling my newsfeed, the sonograms of Seni’s little one wont leave my desktop, nor will Jenny’s little Kaleb leave my dresser. I’m so excited to see their little ones grow and open to see what their relationships teach me.
  • How to Marry someone. I married two of my best friends and it couldn’t have been a more awesome experience to be a part of. They have already taught me loads separately and to help bring them together is more rewarding than getting out of bed without hitting my snooze button 10 times. Much more.
  • Doing great things for others brings great things to you, small or big. That you shouldn’t do it for others in expectation, but just expect your world to be a little brighter because you did.
  • I learned my self worth, and it can be easy to forget at times. But more than ever I recognize my importance and the personal wealth I have to give.
  • The value of falling flat on your face, after trying and trying again is worth more than I could have imagined. Although I still may be pulling myself up from a recent fall, I’m higher than where I was before.  I will always keep my eyes on the stars, with my feet on the ground.
  • That my emotions can’t take the driver seat. My head and my heart are on two separate continents, and I truly believe in following my heart. But after watching a Rom Com marathon and having a glass of wine, stay away from Facebook, your phone, and any member of the opposite sex.
  • That I am ready to leave the Age of the Observer that I have entered into since moving here, but to the Age which has me bring all I’ve come to learn into manifestation. My ideas must now be released and allowed to set flight.
  • And  lastly, that I do like cats, and love one in particular…

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I thank my friends who listened to me for GCHAT’s and phones calls on end about where I’m at, and helped me to where I am going. I hope that I was as good to them as they were to me. If not I’ll try a little harder.

2013 Ill try a little harder with everything, especially with my Family who I miss more and more each day. A promise to myself and the ones I love.

“Leave this world a little better than how you found it” – Jason Mraz

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